You walk around the house like a zombie, eat and drink a little, and spend some time online, scrolling a bit through some posts. Just to have a feeling you don't miss out on everything, and to avoid boredom.
Sometimes you complain on social media about being ill and people start sending get well wishes and offer to bring you some groceries. They tell you to take enough rest and take your time to get well. You feel loved and realise you are blessed with friends that care about you and if you really needed help, they would be there for you.
When you have a migraine... you are likely to spend most of the day under a blanket on the couch. You can do some things, but get exhausted quickly, and your head feels unable to think straight.
You walk around the house like a zombie, eat and drink a little, and spend some time online, scrolling a bit through some posts. Just to have a feeling you don't miss out on everything, and to avoid boredom.
Sometimes you complain on social media about having a migraine and people start sending messages about wonder remedies that would prevent migraines. (it worked for their neighbours mother's friend!). They suggest over the counter painkillers or whatever massage or drink to get instant relief. Unwillingly implying you probably did not do enough to get yourself going again.
You feel that people around you don't understand what it means and increasingly often decide against telling anyone you have a migraine.
I'm sure they all mean it in the best possible way. But why are the reactions so different from any other disease?
Most people know that the pain can be very bad. And some also know there are other symptoms.
But the majority of people don't realise that migraineurs have these attacks EVERY MONTH, EVERY WEEK, or sadly for some people, even EVERY DAY! But we never know when it will come.
Imagine what that does to your life...
And, not all attacks are a wall banging, vomiting, dark room drama. Often with the help of prescribed medicines, we can reduce them to something i'd like to compare to a flu. Not the symptoms, but in terms of functioning and impact.
So let's get back to that comparison.
Can you remember your last flu? And how you felt about that?
It probably came at an inconvenient time. You wanted to do things, had things planned! You fight it for some time and try to keep going. Maybe you can drug yourself enough to go to that very important meeting or your best friends wedding. But you probably have to give in at some point. You're grounded for a day or two. All the home remedies and over the counter meds can only soften the rough edges a bit. You know you'll survive, but you have to sit it out. When you start feeling better, you still need one or two days to recover. Still a bit beaten up, you get out again and start catching up of all things dropped.
With migraines it's the same, including the recovery period and the catching up afterwards.The difference is that your flu will probably only pop up once or twice a year.
But with migraines... the next attack can very well start just one day after recovering from the previous one.
For me, i'll have 5, or if i'm lucky, 10 'normal' days before a new attack shows it's first signs.
Imagine heaving a flu every other week...
Flu, recover, have a nice week, flu again, recover, great week, flu, recover, good week, flu... etc.
And this, your WHOLE life.
Really try to imagine that.
So please people. Before you start about home-remedies, or think someone is faking a migraine...
You don't know whats inside someones head.
They might be in pain. They might be on a high dose of some medicine, coping, just to be there with you. To do their job. Even if they say they are ok. Even if they look ok.
Migraine will not kill us, but it disables us in every aspect of our lives. We are always aware of the monster lurking around the corner. We adjust our habits, take it into account, keep going.
We tried it all. The preventive meds, the wonder cures, the diets... if any of those really worked... would all those migraineurs be lying on the couch in pain if they could be out there having a party?
If we cancel an appointment, know that hours of conflict about whether to cancel or not, hoping the attack will go away in time, or deciding if we can take another dose of the medicines to feel well enough to go, went ahead of that call.
We want to live our lives, just as you do. But until a REAL cure is found, sometimes we just can't.
If i complain about it on social media, it's not about getting attention on my person. It's about getting some understanding for a brain disease that is very disabling, but is still very misunderstood in society as well as in science.
We need more understanding, and more knowledge.
If you want to help:
-try reading a bit about it online (but search for real scientific articles, not the wonder-cure guru's)
-ask a migraineur what you can do to help
Ask if they are ok.
Family members:
Close the curtains, turn off the tv/stereo or at least turn down the sound.
Ask if you can get them anything...
Bring them home. Or bring them a blanket.
Most important: Be there for them. Often just being there, acknowledging, is enough. We must face the pain alone, but it's good to have someone to mentally (or sometimes also physically) hold your hand until it's over.
If you are not a family member:
Maybe babysit their kids during an attack? Walk their dog?
Bring some groceries so they can hide in their home for a few days till they feel better?
Offer to take over a task at work or at home after an attack, because catching up after having to drop everything at an inconvenient time can be overwhelming... )
-donate to brain research
-above all: don't judge.
Thank you.
(images are by Kameeri, which is me! You can follow me on instagram @Kameeri_art for more migraine comics, or enjoy all the other work i made on 'good days' ;) )
